Listen To Your Heart
by WookieInspired
Summary: All he wanted to do was forget, so that the pain he was feeling would stop. But, now that Kyuhyun had followed him, apologies in hand, what was Ryeowook supposed to do? Listen to his mind or his heart?  Submission - Celebrating KyuWook's 5th anniversary!


**A/N:** Hello everyone. I just wanted to specially note that this one shot is my submission in support of KyuWook's 5th Anniversary as hosted by Kyuwook(.)net! Details of the contest are in my profile or you can simply stop by and check it out on the site.

This was an experimental fic for me, so reviews are very welcome! Always, thanks for reading.

**Listen to Your Heart**

By WookieInspired

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><p>"I made a mistake! Please, give me another chance!"<p>

The words haunted Ryeowook's mind as he methodically cleaned the pottery kiln. Scrubbing extra hard at one resilient spot, he furiously tried to push the words away. But they kept coming back, louder and louder.

Upset, he threw the rag cloth down and got abruptly to his feet.

Why?

Why did that man have to come back into his life when he'd painstakingly just put it back together?

Opening his back door, he walked out onto the attached balcony. Below him, the town spread out before his eyes. The colors of reds, golds, and browns could be seen everywhere. It was late autumn and the trees were almost bare of leaves. Come the first day of winter, he was sure that there wouldn't be a red leaf in sight.

Usually, the view would offer him some semblance of calm and peace. But it wasn't working today. Not surprising really; he was too agitated because of what had happened yesterday.

Sighing, he turned away from the familiar sight and stepped back inside. Looking around, Ryeowook studied his modest apartment.

One corner was designated as the living room. It boasted one comfy beige couch with his favorite blanket thrown over the back, a small side table he had found at a thrift store, and an armoire the previous owner of the apartment had left behind. On the opposite end of the room lay his small kitchen. A wilting plant on his kitchen bar tried to liven up the otherwise bare space. He remembered how the kitchen used to be a place of joy and comfort for him. Now it remained empty and barely used.

The middle of the room, where the large bay window was centered, was set up as Ryeowook's art studio. Everything he needed to create his beloved works of art was arranged in an organized and efficient fashion. The kiln he had been cleaning was modest and a little small, but it would have to do for now since he hadn't found any art facilities that boasted a bigger one. A side table held a bucket filled with clay encrusted tools and beside it stood a jug of dirty water. A turning wheel was placed to the left of the table, already cleaned and ready for his next project. Walking over to the space, Ryeowook felt a modicum amount of comfort wrap around him.

Art was the one constant in his life that he refused to give up. He didn't care if he would carefully have to budget his meals, his electricity, or whatever else. As long as he could still sculpt, as long he could sit down at his turning wheel and dig his hands into a wet piece of clay, nothing else mattered.

Moving closer to the balcony window, he studied some of the sculptures and ceramic pieces he had scattered on the window seat. Spotting the dancer, he picked it up and moved his hands over the curves of the piece as he had a million times before.

This was why art was so important to him. Every piece was an extension of him and connected him to a memory from the past. This particular piece would always be dear to him. It was the last piece of art he'd made when he had still lived with his parents.

It was of his sister, an aspiring dancer. Clutching the sculpture with one hand, Ryeowook traced the outline of the face. His sister had died the day after Ryeowook had completed this piece, having committed suicide. She'd left behind a broken family that never did reconcile. There was too much blame thrown around.

Yes, his art connected him to his past, but not all memories are happy.

Gently, he set the figure back down and hesitantly picked up another. A small porcelain dove lay in the palm of his hand. Staring at it, Ryeowook supposed another person would find the piece charming, even joyous. But the only thing Ryeowook felt as he held the white bird was deep sadness.

This too he had made as a gift. At that time, the dove had represented his adoration, and, though it depressed him to think of it now, his young love for the person it was to be gifted to. However, this statue held no happy ending either.

Just like his sister's statue, he was never able to give the present to the person it was designated for. But it wasn't death that stopped him, only rejection.

Tears flooded his eyes as the memory of that day flooded back to him. Such a fool he was, Ryeowook thought. The encounter ran through his mind, still clear and vivid even though it had occurred years ago. His hand shook as it held the dove.

He'd given his heart and had it returned to him in pieces. He'd been humiliated and scorned by the one person that could break him – Cho Kyuhyun.

And now the man had found him and thrown his carefully pieced together life back into chaos.

Ryeowook struggled to breathe as tears continued to stream down his face. Why did he have to feel this way again? Wasn't once enough?

Closing his eyes, he willed himself to stop crying. He didn't want to remember. It only caused him pain. Slowly the tears did stop, and again, he was left feeling empty inside.

Reopening his eyes, he stared blankly at the figurine. Many, many times he had asked his self why he just didn't throw it away just like Kyuhyun had thrown him away - tossed him aside because of ridiculous rumors.

Why, as he moved from place to place, did he wrap it carefully and bring it with him? Even now, he was gently setting it back down on the ledge.

He lightly stroked the bird's beak.

Why? Because even though that man had destroyed him, Ryeowook still loved him. He still hoped to see Kyuhyun's face when he dreamed at night. In the morning, he hoped to wake up with Kyuhyun's arms around him, holding him protectively.

Foolishness, Ryeowook thought. Love made you foolish. How could he love a man who didn't even trust him?

Shaking his head harshly, Ryeowook forcefully pushed all thoughts out of his mind. Resolutely, he turned away from the window and away from the dove.

Stepping over to his small kitchen, he moved to prepare himself a cup of tea when a knock on the door startled him.

Confused, Ryeowook wondered who in the world it could be. He wasn't the most social of persons and neither were his neighbors.

Maybe it was his landlord?

He opened the door and then regretted it instantly.

"Go away!" Ryeowook tried to slam the door closed, but the man had already put a foot in the door in anticipation of Ryeowook's reaction.

"Please, let's just talk!"

Shoving his shoulder into the door, Ryeowook tried with all his might to push the door close. Anger and bitterness fueled his words.

"I've heard what you have to say, and I don't want to hear any more. Go away!"

"Wookie!" The man shouted in desperation.

"You don't have the right to call me that name!" The endearment cracked something inside of him. Like a candle's flame, his anger was doused and heartache moved in to replace it.

"Ryeowook!"

He couldn't seem to catch his breath. The dam that had been holding back his emotions broke in the face of the man's appearance. Ryeowook found himself sliding down the door until he was in a crying heap on the floor. The other sensed Ryeowook's lack of resistance and hesitantly pushed the door forward until he could slip through.

Seeing the state Ryeowook was in, Kyuhyun felt his heart constrict. God, this was all his fault.

All he wanted to do was gather Ryeowook into his arms and hold him, but he knew that would be the last thing Ryeowook would want.

But as the sobbing continued, Kyuhyun threw reason aside and dropped to his knees. He pulled the weeping Ryeowook into his arms and held on even as Ryeowook rebelled.

"I'm so sorry."

"No! No!" Ryeowook thrashed and pushed, but Kyuhyun refused to let go.

"You threw me away! What right do you have to come into my life again?" Ryeowook sobbed, hands that had pushed were now clinging onto the other's man shirt.

Kyuhyun's arms tightened at Ryeowook's words. He couldn't refute them and so they tore at his heart.

"I know! I'm sorry. It's all my fault. I was stupid! But I can't let you go, Wookie!"

The words seemed to have triggered something in Ryeowook. He pushed Kyuhyun away roughly then used his hands to wipe away his tears. Surprised by the force of the push, Kyuhyun released the other.

Ryeowook glared at the man.

"That's right, Cho Kyuhyun. You were stupid. But even worse, you were cruel and you were heartless in your rejection of me. Ha! You can't let me go. Don't forget, Cho Kyuhyun, it was you who told me to leave. I certainly haven't forgotten!"

Getting up, he moved to walk away from the other but was pulled back into those strong arms.

"Let me go!"

"I won't! Please, Ryeowook. I want to make it better."

"Nothing will make it better!" He struggled harder, hoping to escape from those iron bands.

But he knew it was useless. Kyuhyun could be as stubborn as a bull. Ryeowook hated that he knew that about the man. He hated how much he still remembered.

Ryeowook ceased his struggling once he realized that Kyuhyun had no intention of letting him go. Already, he could feel his anger dissipating and the cycle of tears starting again. Moaning, he pushed half heartedly at the other.

He was so tired of it. He went from being angry to crying. From extreme fury to weariness. He felt like he was going to go crazy.

But what was he supposed to do? Accept the man back with open arms? How could he accept the man who had laughed at him in the face when Ryeowook had confessed his love? How could he accept the man who cut him down with vicious words that still scarred Ryeowook's heart?

He'd be stupid to right?

But then why did he feel so safe and comforted in those arms? Why did he have the sudden urge to hug the other tight and never let go?

His heart ached for Kyuhyun but his mind yelled obscenities.

This is the man who laughed at your love! This is the man who called you an unworthy brother – an unworthy son – an unworthy lover! This is the man who would believe lies from other people rather than the truth from your own mouth. Never forgive and don't forget!

Wasn't his mind right? Or was his heart right?

He didn't know. He just wanted it all to stop.

"Let me go, Kyuhyun. Please. I can't take this anymore. I give up." Ryeowook mumbled softly. He let his arms drop to his sides. He didn't have the energy to fight anymore.

He could admit it now. For these past months, he had been running. He hadn't wanted to face Kyuhyun and risk the chance of being hurt again. The turmoil and confusion that had been chasing him since the day he had left came crashing down on him the moment Kyuhyun had come back into his life.

And it was too much.

If he gave up - if he no longer cared, then maybe the pain would end too.

Kyuhyun felt Ryeowook's body go slack. No! This wasn't what he wanted! He'd rather have Ryeowook shout and hit him than become apathetic and listless.

Panicking, Kyuhyun tried to figure out the right words to say. The speeches and apologies he had rehearsed in anticipation of talking to Ryeowook were forgotten.

Looking around, his eyes searched the bare apartment hoping for some clue until they landed on the balcony window. Brown eyes drifted over several of the pieces, lingering on the dancer, and then freezing at the sight of the dove.

"The dove –" Kyuhyun breathed.

Ryeowook went rigid at Kyuhyun's words.

"Leave," Ryeowook commanded, moving again to escape Kyuhyun's arms.

Tightening his arms, Kyuhyun began moving towards the balcony window, taking Ryeowook with him.

Realizing the other's intention, Ryeowook renewed his struggles.

"Stop it!"

"It's the same one, isn't it?" Kyuhyun questioned, eyes glued to the white ceramic dove sitting so innocently on the window seat.

"No! It isn't. Don't you dare touch it!"

Ignoring the command, Kyuhyun reached over and picked up the figurine. Marveling, he realized that it fit perfectly in the palm of his hand. And of course, it was perfect. Everything Ryeowook created was perfect.

Without a doubt, he knew that this was the same dove from that day.

"You kept it."

Seeing the dove in Kyuhyun's hands, Ryeowook made a grab for it but missed when Kyuhyun moved his hand out of reach.

"Give it back! It's not yours."

Freezing, Kyuhyun looked down at the man in his arms.

"It was supposed to be." Kyuhyun stated quietly, staring intently at Ryeowook. Stepping back, Kyuhyun reached up to caress the other's cheek in a gesture that was so nostalgic it brought tears to his eyes.

Ryeowook felt his breath catch in his throat as he watched Kyuhyun's brown eyes fill with tears. When he felt Kyuhyun's knuckles graze lightly over his cheek, he closed his own eyes in remembrance. Mirroring Kyuhyun, tears filled his eyes and slid down his cheeks.

Strengthened when Ryeowook didn't reject his touch, Kyuhyun allowed his fingers to follow the contour of Ryeowook's face, wiping away the tears as they went.

"Wookie. Please, I have to know. Is the dove still mine? – Am I still in your heart?"

Reaching down, he placed the dove in Ryeowook's hand then moved to cover it with his.

"What I did and said to you was unforgiveable. I said them with the intention to hurt you and knowing I succeeded will haunt me for the rest of my life. By no means do I deserve a second chance from you, Ryeowook, but I'm asking for one anyway. I let jealousy and pride get the best of me and ended up losing the best thing in my life. You know how hard-headed and stubborn I can be! I didn't even give you a chance to explain, and let myself jump to conclusions that even I knew were impossible. You deserve so much better than me, Ryeowook. But I love you! I love you so much I couldn't think straight these past few months when I didn't know where you were. I kept imagining you were hurt or maybe even that you had found someone. I – "

"Shut up." Ryeowook, said quietly.

Stricken, Kyuhyun closed his mouth. He was so stupid to think he deserved a second chance! How idiotic could he get? Ryeowook had every right to scream and yell at him. And he had every right to tell Kyuhyun to leave and never come back. It was what he deserved.

But he had hoped. Oh, had he hoped that Ryeowook would take him back. Every day since Ryeowook had left had been unbearable. Realization of what he had done and who he had hurt came swiftly once the jealousy and hurt pride had dissipated.

Finding out Ryeowook had left home without tell anyone had sent Kyuhyun into panic. Panic turned into frustration as the weeks passed without word. Then frustration turned into anger. The people who had so delighted in belittling and scorning Ryeowook for being poor had nothing to laugh about when Kyuhyun got a hold of them. It was these people who played a role in feeding Kyuhyun's jealousy with their lies and rumors. So he hurt them.

Yet, in the sanctum of his room, Kyuhyun acknowledged that the blame lay solely at his feet. It was he who had hurt Ryeowook with his own words from his own mouth. The vengeance became meaningless once he realized it wouldn't bring Ryeowook back.

When he'd gotten word that Ryeowook had been spotted in this town, Kyuhyun couldn't get on a plane fast enough. Their first encounter was less than ideal. There was a lot of shouting and ended with Ryeowook walking away. Angry at himself for messing it up, Kyuhyun was determined to do better next time. So he practiced what he would say and planned out his reasons.

But now it was all shot to hell.

Why did he think a planned out apology could take away the pain and suffering he had caused Ryeowook? He was so pathetic.

Maybe, Ryeowook had even found someone else to love! Maybe he had already found someone who wasn't stupid enough to believe in the rumors of superficial and vapid people - to allow their pressures and opinions to affect his own. He had always considered himself better than them but look at what he had done to the person he had supposedly cared for the most. He was just like them, or maybe even worse than them.

Bowing his head, Kyuhyun went to remove his hand but was prevented from doing so when Ryeowook's other hand fell atop his.

Shocked he looked up.

Ryeowook's eyes were clear and focused.

"You're right. You don't deserve a second chance."

Swallowing, Kyuhyun again went to pull his hand away. His heart felt like it was in pieces at his feet.

Tightening his grip on both the dove and Kyuhyun's hand, Ryeowook gathered his resolve.

"You don't deserve a second chance, but I'm giving you one anyway. Because for some unknown reason I still love you."

Breathe quickening, Ryeowook shook his head angrily as tears filled his eyes for the umpteenth time.

"For some unknown reason I miss the way you hold me in bed when it rains. I miss the way you would wrap your arms around me so tightly that I couldn't tell where you started and I ended. I miss cooking you pancakes and spaghetti. I miss how your whole face lights up when you laugh. I miss – I miss"

But Ryeowook could get out no more as sobs wracked his body.

Overwhelmed but so extremely relieved and overjoyed, Kyuhyun grabbed Ryeowook's body and pulled it tightly to him. He wrapped his arms around the slender body until he could feel the whole length of Ryeowook's body against his own.

"I love you, Ryeowook!" He said fiercely, tightening his arms until they hurt.

Hugging back just as tightly, Ryeowook didn't care that his ribs were aching or that he couldn't get in a proper breath.

Kyuhyun was here again, and that was all that mattered.

Pulling back, Kyuhyun leaned down and gave Ryeowook a soft kiss. In it was an apology as well as a thank you.

Ryeowook curled his arms around Kyuhyun's neck. There were still tears in his eyes, but they were formed because of happiness.

"There are still a lot of issues between us." Ryeowook murmured.

Kyuhyun nodded his head in agreement, moving his hand down until they settled on Ryeowook's hips. Just as he remembered, Ryeowook fit perfectly against him.

"But, I know we can get through it together. We both let our insecurities get the best of us. I was too insecure to fight back and ran away from you instead of staying to work it out. You allowed other people to cloud your judgment. We both let our doubts get to us and forgot the importance of trust. But I think now we can see that the only thing that matters is us and the love we have for each other. I wasn't alive without you, Kyuhyun. I never want to feel that way again."

"Neither do I, Wookie."

Smiling Ryeowook pulled Kyuhyun into a hug. Feeling whole and safe in Kyuhyun's arms, Ryeowook came to a firm decision.

"So, let's get married then."

Blinking, Kyuhyun leaned back so that he could properly meet Ryeowook's eyes.

"What?"

"Let's get married."

"You're proposing to me?" Kyuhyun asked his eyes as wide as tea cup saucers.

Laughing, Ryeowook nodded in affirmative going so far as to kneel down on one knee.

The sight was too amusing for words considering Ryeowook's short stature compared to Kyuhyun's taller frame. Ryeowook's head barely reached Kyuhyun's waist.

"But I'm supposed to be proposing to you!"

Rolling his eyes, Ryeowook offered Kyuhyun a dry look.

"Why? Just because I'm slightly more feminine?" Ryeowook challenged.

"Ahh—"

Glaring in warning, Ryeowook then shot the other a wry look. "I'm glad you know better than to answer that question. So, what's your answer?"

"But we don't even have rings!" Kyuhyun stammered, totally flustered by Ryeowook's assertive personality. How in the world did he come to play the role of the girl?

Sighing, Ryeowook moved to get up when he realized that he was still gripping the dove. How appropriate, Ryeowook thought smiling softly.

Wearing his heart on his sleeves, he held up the dove and repeated his words: "Kyuhyun, will you marry me?"

Oh, but this was so unfair yet so utterly fitting, Kyuhyun thought.

Making the right decision this time, he took the offered dove and pulled Ryeowook up along with it.

"Yes. Always yes." Kyuhyun answered with a shout of laughter. Then in one fluid movement, he hooked an arm under Ryeowook's knees and another around Ryeowook's shoulder and lifted.

Surprised, Ryeowook could only let out a soft "eep" as Kyuhyun literally swept him off his feet.

"Kyuhyun! What are you doing?" Wrapping his arms around Kyuhyun's neck, he hung on for dear life, afraid that Kyuhyun would drop him.

The mischievous man offered Ryeowook a smirk.

Ryeowook had forgotten how devastating Kyuhyun's smirk was. He heart fluttered just at the sight of it.

"Well, if you get to propose to me, I get to carry you bridal style."

Snorting, Ryeowook leaned up to give Kyuhyun a soft peck on the cheek.

"Aww, did someone feel like they had to prove their masculinity?" Ryeowook asked, giggling when Kyuhyun shot him an offended look.

Sighing, Kyuhyun began walking towards the door, ready to take Ryeowook home.

"We're going to drive each other crazy aren't we?" Kyuhyun asked amusement clear in his voice.

"Of that I have no doubt." Ryeowook answered, resting his head on Kyuhyun's collarbone.

Smiling softly, Kyuhyun took a moment to thank the heavens for giving him someone as wonderful as Ryeowook to love. He would never take that gift for granted again. This he vowed on his life.

Glancing down, his eyes connected with Ryeowook's.

"I can't wait." Kyuhyun whispered.

THE END

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><p>AN: I both love and despise this fic. I love it, because I challenged myself to complete a one shot – angst themed (for the most part) KyuWook fic and succeeded. I despise it, because it was so damn hard. Everything I was writing was either too clichéd or too dramatic. The end result is something I can live with (though even at this moment I have the urge to go back and change things).


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